


The Tears of Morgana Pendragon

by MorganasCrow



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, POV Lesbian Character, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4038700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganasCrow/pseuds/MorganasCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana, being bullied by Gwen, finds a friend who helps her to face her fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tears of Morgana Pendragon

"Z kouzel zrozená,

jeden úsměv jsi mi dala  
a srdce mi tak vzala."

//Born from enchantments...

You gave me a single smile

And so captured my heart.//

\- Aleš Brichta (Sirael)

 

         The bell rang. Morgana rose from her chair and headed towards the door. She hesitated. The classroom felt secure... but there were no teachers anymore. The hall was evil. But once she had to go there. She had to go outside. She couldn't lock up here like in a shell. She kept picking up her courage for few more seconds. Then she took a deep breath and took a step into the warzone.      

         It seemed to be okay for today. She wandered the hall, quickly, but carefully. She spotted Merlin in front of her, sliding into the bathroom. She liked Merlin. He had always been a good friend of hers. No one else cared of her... the better case. The worse... no, she's not gonna think about that now. While she was passing the restroom door, she caught a glimpse of Arthur entering. Don't seem obvious, she thought to herself and smiled unintentionally. That moment of lack of awareness was critical. Two pairs of hands pushed her hard to the ladiesroom door. Morgana dropped to her knees. She gazed above. Guinevere stood firm above her. Her face was grinned, chilling Morgana to the bone. "Did you miss me?", started Guinevere in the venomous way. Morgana didn't dare to utter a single word. The cheerleaders closed a circle around her. Guinevere, the leader of the gang, looked like she usually did. As least cloth as possible, princess-like haircut and high heels. Two tons of make-up. That's why she always went away unpunished. Why all the professors trusted her. "Catch her!", barked Guinevere harshly. She slowly glided her fingernail down Morgana's face. Then she went down her neck and touched Morgana's triskallion. "Your "gods", uttered Guinevere with disgust, "won't save you tonight. You're lost, ya hear me? Lost." With this she tore the triskallion from the necklace and whisked it against the wall. Then she caught Morgana's hair and pulled back. She got used to pain, but this hurted a lot. She hissed. It fueled Guinevere's rage. She stroke Morgana, dropping her back to her knees and dumped her hand hatefully. Morgana yelled in pain, but the hens gagged her mouth. Then she got stricken to her belly. "We're not done yet. Wait for the afternoon!" While saying this, Guinevere emptied Morgana's bag to the sink, searched her wallet and left with whole hen house. Morgana couldn't take it any more. She hid her face in her hands and right there on the floor she started crying bitterly.

         Few decades of minutes later she got to stand up. Everything hurted. She wasn't really keen of the idea of going to the cafeteeria and get another load of mocking. She rather moved to the library. She was safe there. And she could find a relief. She always found the relief in reading the classic literature. This time she picked up _Le Fleurs du Mel._ She dreamt quite often of the bohemian lifestyle, where she wouldn't have to care about anyone - including Guinevere. Her secure hour has run like hell. She had to go to the afternoon class then. Luckily she was released from the PE classes, so she wasn't exposed to the mockery of the "sporty" bitches. Stupid cows, she thought. I hate them! With gloomy thoughts like this she entered the atelier ** _._** Free theme. Morgana started to paint. Oil paint. Dull, dark colours. A lonely figure, crouched in the middle of nowhere. Dull steel grey sky. Carmine setting sun, spilling the blood all over the picture. The world flooded with blood and hatred.

         Morgana put the headphones into her ears and took a step out of the school. The tuny celtic music raised her spirits a bit. But what about the awareness? What about the toilet warning? _No, please, not today! Not anymore!_ Guinevere grabbed Morgana's chin and moved herself so close Morgana felt her hot, fuggy breath. "You should have a little fun. What's there in your bag? Show me! Hmm...", she stared at the small book in Morgana's bag. "Poems, huh? Rubbish!" With that order one of the hens tore Morgana's bag and handed it to the leader. She squeamishly took the poetry book, opened it at random page and extinguished the cigarette upon the soft paper. Then she threw it to the trash can. "Rubbish similar to you!", she yelled in the cruel way. Morgana was grabbed by the rough hands again and stuck into the rubbish bin head first. "See ya tomorrow, you goth slut!", she heard viciously. Morgana broke. She started to cry again.

         After some time she climbed out of the trash can with unease, cleaned her clothes, wiped her tears and departed home. Everything as usual. Uther was yelling at mom crying in the corner. Morgana got used to it. She got her stuff from the sink dry. Then she went her hand under the matress, reaching her "box of the final rescue". With it she headed towards the bathroom. Dressed, as she was she sat into the bathtub. She undressed her long lacing gothic gloves with red lace and she ran the shower. Hot water wetted her hair, flowed down her face and mixed with tears. She opened the box and took a tiny steel sheet. Her only friend. It didn't hurt anymore. She watched the rare slow crimson stream flowing down her wrist and dissolve on the wet porcelain. She added two more. Then she swapped hands and her razor started to caress again. She kept crying. But it didn't hurt so bad anymore. Her crimson shame and stultification flowed to the sewer ** _._** She took the clean bandages, dressed her wounds and hid them in her gloves again. She undressed her wet clothes and locked herself in her room.

         The next day something changed. When the henhouse cockadooded away, the restroom door opened again. Trying to hide her face and her shame, Morgana took a hood hastingly. Nevertheless the newcomer touched her. Not just caressed- she firmly caught her hand. Morgana's teary, tormented eyes raised. Nice lady with rose tattoo sleeves, piercing, half-head shaved purple-blue dreadlocks. She didn't have to say anything. She found out what Morgana's lacking. So- for the first time after long six years- she got hugged by someone. Long and strong hug. And Morgana cried again. From relief indeed. She's not alone. "Rose", whispered the blue-hair into her ear. "My name's Morgause, but they call me Rose." Morgana gazed at her tattoos. Thank you, captain Obvious, she thought. She felt better that afternoon. Only two fresh cuts appeared on her wrists.

         Morgana changed that evening. For the first time in her life she felt some kind of pressure. Her imagination started to draw the pictures beyond any borders. She saw Rose. She was coming closer to her. Speechless. Then she firmly caught Morgana, rode her hand through Morgana's hair and shoved her tongue between her lips. Morgana has never felt anything like that. But it was good. And it was hot. She felt Rose's hot kisses upon her skin on her neck, on her naked shoulders, on her collarbones. And she wanted more. Utterly by instinct she kneeled and started to unzip the fly of Rose's miniskirt. Her tongue was dry and wanting. She didn't understand what was going on. She only knew she wanted more. She started to meet her new friend thoroughly. Morgana's tongue swiftly examined places unknown and her lips started to suck hungrily. She heard Rose's lustful gasps and she knew she's well on. Just a moment... just once more... just... Rose's thighs closed in cramp and hugged Morgana's head tightly. She felt the air, quivering with heat and the thighs shaking with excitement. "My turn", stated Rose.

         This time Morgana's senses flew to another sphere of perception. Rose was experienced. Morgana started to shake with bliss and luck. Rose's hair tickled her in the underbelly. She was slowly bending in the extatic cramp until her whole body strung itself like a bow. Rose added her fingers. Morgana felt like if her heart was up to jump out of her chest! She shook, her whole body writhing in strokes of blissful cramp. Just a bit more. Once more! Yet... Morgana's throat released a blissful moan. Covered in sweat she fell down into the blanket.

         When she woke up in the morning, her bed looked like after the war. Morgana wasn't one of those shaking or writhing during the bedtime. But this time... the blanket was laying on the floor, the sheet half drawn down, the pillow mostly fallen over the bedside. "Damn, Rose...", thought Morgana cheerfully. At the moment she decided. She found a happy thought, to which she could leap. She didn't dare thinking of it gone wrong.

        

         Morgana quickly found her way through the mob and she noticed Rose attends the art class with her. She sat to her. She started a bit sheepishly. "Hello... I... would like to thank you for yesterday... You saved me... You gave the new strength into my veins..." Rose leaned towards Morgana and caught her wrist. Softly. Carefully. She knew. The shadow of despair cast again upon Morgana's mind. She knows. Who would date a girl who cuts herself? "Don't say anything," whispered Rose. "I understand it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong _enough_ to come in time. To avoid it. I am so sorry." "I would..." started Morgana, whose eyes started to fill with tears. "It's alright," whispered Rose a hugged Morgana's shoulders. Morgana noticed her wristbands. She looked at her with a guess. "I've been through this as well," whispered Rose and revealed her scars. "It helps for a while, but not long enough. One day you'll have to face them. Only so you will never come back to them." Morgana felt glad. "Beautiful painting by the way," complimented Rose. "And Morgana? I'd be glad to accompany you for the prom night." Morgana smiled. This time it wasn't that fake smile she put up for the last few years. This time it was genuine. Today she added more colours to her painting. Gloom winced a bit. On the dark sky a white dove appeared.

 

         At the day of the prom night Morgana woke up a lot earlier. She started to prepare for the evening. She had at about twelve hours ahead, but she wanted to be sure everything will turn out well. She tidied her make up at the cabinet. Then she had a long, refreshing shower and bandaged her arms carefully. This time she was full of hope. Not a single cut accrued. For the first time in three years she was choosing earrings. In the end she chose her favourite, gaining new meaning for her now. She put the black roses into her earlobes, serpentining up and twisting around the auricle. Then she went to prepare her dress and polish her shoes. Gloves! She'd forget the gloves! In the end she opened up the jewel box. Carefully, with awe she put the triskallion in and picked up a silver necklace with a pentagram in a similar way. From grandma. When it sat upon her chest, she felt strength flowing through her veins. Then she departed to the town to do the final business.

          When Morgana came back, she carried a crimson rose with her. She headed straight towards the bathroom, where she peeled off all the petals. She carefully ironed her hair, excluding two locks she twisted around her vertex into the shape of elven crown and fastened on the back with hairgrips. Her long, black, straight crimp suddenly seemed longer – reached her waist. Slowly, carefully she chose the exact places. Then she placed rose petals and each of them fastened with a grip. For the first time she felt nice.

         She didn't expect it being so time-consuming! She hastily ate something and started to prune herself in her black dress with a crimson lower skirt. She added some red to her lips, painted her eyes and highlighted her eyebrows. Contrasting to her pale face the make-up surpassed. She looked like a Snow White with roses in her hair. She tied her corset and carefully took her gloves again. When she adjusted her stockings and put her shoes on, the bell rang. She opened the door. Right in front of her there stood a tall firm figure. Long indigo strapless dress, revealing rose tattooed arms and shoulders. Frail neck with a crow-shaped pendant. Long, blue-purple half-head shaved hair on the left side. Blue painted eyebrows, purple underlined eyes. Pale blue lipstick. Rose and Morgana stared at each other for a moment with enchantment. Morgana wished to kiss her right there at the spot. She just gladly fell into her arms instead. Rose hugged her. Later on – as a real gentlewoman – offered her an arm and led her to her car. Morgana wasn't so keen about cars, but she expected this beauty being from 60s – Morgana's rough guess, she didn't dare to ask- must have cost a fortune. Everything inside smelt of leather and roses, so Morgana – for the very first time – wasn't sick in the car. She felt a bit uneasy, but Rose's reckless, joyful conversation dispelled all the jitterbugs.

         When they reached the ballroom, they got all the attention – lesbian pair is quite uncommon event on the Irish prom nights. Morgana felt pleased by the attention, but also worried- the more people would notice her, the more probably Guinevere spots her. She didn't think about this before. On the other hand Rose was there with her. She decided she'll stick up with Rose whatever happens.

         Indeed, Guinevere noticed Morgana immediately! She headed towards her with the whole henhouse! And she started to broadside Morgana: “Look at her! She has to attend the ball with a girl, 'cause no boy'd ever want her! Wretch!” Morgana felt Rose by her side and it poured new strength into her veins. For the first time she resisted. “I'd rather be with a girl, whom I love, than being lonely and healing my complexes at the people having someone to turn towards!” She was shaking with rage. Finally, after all those years she resisted Guinevere's oppression and bully. And it was in public. Few students started to shriek. Morgana didn't really care. She was used to mockery. But a triumphing rose hand in hand with mockery. And some hands started to tap Morgana's back. She started to understand. The mockery belonged to Guinevere! The henhouse kept looking around hopelessly, looking for a way to escape the mockery. Finally they all ran out of the room, accompanied with the public laughter and triumphing!

         Morgana has never felt so lucky before. It seemed Gunevere and her gang will finally leave her alone. She felt so glad towards Rose. She helped her so much... Suddenly she felt really careless about what do others think. She hugged Rose's shoulders and long kissed her. It was electric. She felt all her hair bristled with excitement. She's not afraid anymore. She'll never be afraid again. She'll be herself. Rose helped her to find her inner strength. She will never be abandoned. She will never be alone!

         She started to cry again… this time out of joy. Rose hugged her tightly, then she kissed her eyelids and folded her firmly again. Morgana started to feel the warmth. Rose, her care, her hug and her strength started to fill the place where she always felt freeze while spotted Guinevere, pompous, egocentric and violent, Guinevere she had faced tonight.

         It was enough for one evening. Rose started to lead Morgana out of the hall carefully. She sat her into the car slowly and joined her. Morgana was staring in front of her. “I made it…”, she whispered. “Made it!” “You did,” agreed Rose. She stepped upon the acceleration pedal slowly and the road prow went ahead purring. Suddenly Morgana screamed with horror! There towered Guinevere right in front of them. She came for her revenge. Despite Rose being there with her. This time Morgana won't escape! But Rose didn't intend to hesitate. She throttled!

 

Guinevere saw red. That bitch! How could she dare to do something like this? How could she dare to resist me? I'll find her! She'll pay for this! The degradation! They both'll pay! I'll get them! One by one! Finally she took a look in front of herself. She saw two circles of light crawling closer. She saw them starting to consume her. No! Vengeance will be mine! No!!!

When they hit Guinevere, the metal clash sounded. Guinevere was ejected, flipped over and landed beneath the car's wheels. The moving tons crushed her with no mercy! Morgana had a strange feeling. It may have been the knowledge she's never gonna run again. She has nothing to fear anymore. She hugged Rose's shoulders once again and kissed her face. Rose's lips caressed her neck in repay. They were together. They were free. Nothing else mattered. Rose stepped the pedal again and they both vanished towards the rising sun.

"I've got your name written here  
in a rose tattoo."  
\- Dropkick Murphys (Rose Tattoo)

 


End file.
